Day 57, Feb. 24, 2010

Dear God,

Thank you for Your sovereignty and how You speak to Your people in ways that only can be explained by You.  For months, even before Urbana, Tomlin's song, "Take my life" was speaking to me.  And I think I know why--I just read this from a 1941 article from Toronto Bible College (which by the way is a blessing to go through Tyndale's old yearbooks/archived materials to see how faithful You are LORD) which spoke to me and my situation so far.

Thanks be to God.  Help me create a business plan, that I may cheerfully give financially to missionaries and Your kingdom building purposes.  And also, I have offered my video editing services to one of the booths at Urbana--MoveIn.  I have a meeting with the founder tomorrow to see how I can help.  Don't know what or how that's going to look like, or what paths O Good Shepherd You will lead me--but I trust in Your leading, in Jesus Name, Amen.

Day 30 - Jan 26, 2010

[a summary I handed in to our missions mentor]]

At the time of writing this summary, it has now been about a month since experiencing Urbana 2009. The memories that I treasure are: the music worship during New Year’s, the joyous cell phone display gallery in the dark dome, Sundar’s message on prayer, talking with various missionaries and having them pray for me, having the kitchen staff cheer as everyone entered to get dinner, the glow-in-the-dark sticks of those receiving Christ for the first time, the inductive studies in the morning, the family group reflections at nights, the Rahab skit, and the rap/tap dance. But most of all the people who I made friends with, prayed with, I could sense our closeness because we are brothers and sisters in Christ.
Sundar’s message on prayer, both as plenary speaker, and the seminar later that week, was the speaker that most impacted me. I sensed the Holy Spirit speak to me—I think I was meant to be a prayer warrior and I didn’t know it. Until that moment, my prayer journey with Jesus was like a wave, up and down, not consistent. Sundar’s message to pray big, pray bold, pray Scripture has challenged me to read the Bible from front to back each year. His podcast sermons on the Rexdale Church is listed which I have been listening to since Urbana.
Impressions left on my heart include having my eyes opened to see what the needs of the world are and how God’s people through missions are supplying those needs. I love how God is moving among the young people. During Sundar’s seminar, as he prayed he actually was in tears as he was humbled to see the room packed, thanking God for what the LORD is already doing, working in the hearts among the Urbana participants to prepare them for something great.
What challenged me the most was that I could be used in missions that was different from the traditional missionary stereotype. I was surprised to learn that there was a high demand for librarians, computer programmers, videographers—all diplomas I’ve graduated with or skills I’ve learned while here at Tyndale. Another challenging moment came when one of the speakers mentioned that current/future relationships may have to be cut if life directions don’t match.
Since Urbana I’ve been praying that God would work patiently on me, to make me more like Jesus, depending on Him fully, completely surrendering to His will, to give me a vision on how I can help expand His kingdom of righteousness, whether that means being sent, or prayerfully/financially supporting missions. I’ve been recently thankful to God, that His will is always better than my will. If God’s kingdom is expanded so that more people will ultimately be saved by God saying “no” to my will, then I’m praising God for it. May God continue to bless, guide and protect all Urbana participants who will be used mightily for His glory.
Applying the lessons I’ve learned is slow as I read through the many books I’ve purchased at Urbana bookstore. Many mission agencies have already contacted me via email and I have been looking at their websites and praying if God wants me to serve in any one of them. Above all, my prayer times with God post-Urbana are more intimate, more frequent, as I have now completely surrendered to God’s will, and He can do with me whatever He wants. Like Job, it hurts when God gives and takes away, but God uses it to make us more like Christ, to reinforce that He is in control of everything, that He is our strength and comfort, that the cross is more than enough, and that if I trust in the Lord with all my heart leaning not on my own understanding, but in all my ways acknowledging God, He will make my paths straight, to which I am forever grateful to God. With joy and a smile, I continue to work where God has called me but also await any future call from God. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for kingdom work which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

 "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." --1 Cor 13:13

Day 5 - Dec 31

 Worship song - at New Year's
Worship song - con poder
New year - countdown (which we actually missed haha)


Dear Sovereign God,

There's no one like You King Jesus!  Awesome God!  Day 5 I planned on visiting Sundar's prayer seminar, and then Evangelizing Using the Gospel of John.  I noticed that every single seminar I attended had to do with prayer/spiritual warfare.  Sundar's seminar was by far, the most informative seminar at Urbana!  He got a standing ovation which he ponited to Christ as he was receiving it.  But more so, unbeknownst to me, today was day I got my calling--of sorts.  Again, God answers in ways we never expect.  This is what happened.

Sundar's seminar was in the Millennium hotel, jammed pack with people!  I was sitting against the wall, just near the door.  About 10 minutes as I was taking notes, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit that made me both tear again--but this time, it was a feeling of I ought to be here, this was my calling--to be a prayer warrior.  So there I was thinking, but I am so far from praying like i ought to.  Yet the more I think of it, the more it made sense--that's why I attended all prayer seminars/spiritual warfare seminars, that's why my prayer requests during family group time had to do with me being faithful in prayer, that's probably even why I subliminally started this blog in the form of a prayer even before I went to Urbana!  Wow--God answered me differently than i expected.  Does that mean I'm not meant for missions?  No, I would still go if God called me, or if it made sense to go.  But like an adopted child finding out who their true identity is, I think I found mine.

God help me pray like Jesus did, to pray big, pray bold, and pray Scripture.  Thank You LORD for the Urbana experience.  Use all of us for Your glory to help build Your kingdom of righteousness by spreading the Good News that Jesus died for our sins, and that through the cross, we have eternal life to those who believe in His Name.  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Day 4 - Dec 30

Indian singer - worship song to Jesus  (this was so moving!)
Worship dance - Guy on left dances smooth!
Worship song - hakuna song (this was THE theme song for Urbana--Loved it!)

Dear God of Light who reveals through the Word,

Praises to You Mighty God who saves!  Day 4 at Urbana was amazing.  I witnessed this India style worship music that was so moving.  Loving how God can turn anything for His glory.  A couple of nights before as I was dwelling on this issue of calling, I happened to be the last one on the school bus on the way to Parkway hotel.  I felt led to ask the bus driver how I can pray for him.  He didn't answer my question, but in turn asked if he could pray for me.  I told him what I told everyone else, and he said as long as you feel at peace/comfort from your prayed decision, then go.  God answers in many ways.

We also witnessed many videos that showed the evil in the world.  At one point as I was sitting near the front of the dome, I could hear deep wailing by someone in the upper seating area.  It got me thinking about how God shapes each person to have the heart of God.  Some have more of a heart toward poverty than others, some toward environmental care, some toward trafficking, etc.  Where's my heart O God?  What am I most passionate about?

by the way, has anyone ever heard of Victor Allen coffee?  Apparently that's to Canada, like starbucks is to America?!


That night I heard Sunder speak.  He gave an amazing speech on prayer. Notes below:

• When you pray, address the: Sovereignty of God, Creator God, God of revelation (Ps 2), God who speaks
• Note the prayer in Acts 4, once sovereignty of God is addressed, they pray not for protection but for boldness!
• Pray in a way that Scripture already speaks about (ie: pray that your "Joseph" will do his work with excellence that he may be raised up.  pray that your "Paul" will sing songs to God throughout his prison stay and use his time in creative Christ-exalting ways.  For example, in Egypt it's illegal to give free Scripture--solution:sell them!  In Egypt it's illegal to proselytize--solution:advertise!)
  

That evening, during family group, I noticed all my prayer requests were centered around prayer, being faithful in prayer, being consistent in prayer, networking with people (who in turn prayed for me).  God is good.  Also Martin invited some other roommates named Gideon and Lucas.  All 6 of us did family group time and at one point where we were to pray for each other, I suggested we pray Korean style, which I never done before but only heard about--where each person prays out loud, at the same time!  And that we did!  It was amazing!!  I noticed how each of us got louder, like a bell curve in stats.

Thank You Lord, for informing me during Urbana, and networking with different people to see how You are working in the world, and to imagine in what ways i can take part in Your kingdom causes, in Jesus Name, Amen.

Day 3 - Dec 29

Day 3 - Gallery
Worship - When I think about the Lord
Worship - Song
Vid - Prayer Journey Room (oops, tripped a little :P )

Dear Merciful God,

All praise and glory to You King Jesus!  On day 3 of Urbana the organizers  purposefully slowed down the tempo of busyness and that night we would have the opportunity to make a commitment to God regarding missions.

That morning's inductive study was cool.  The 2 musicians sang their original  composition of John 1, it was really good and I'm hoping to get the chords off of someone for that.  I also made an observation--Jesus uses alot of Macgyver  techniques when he does the miraculous.  (or perhaps it's more accurate to say MacGyver takes his improvised solution techniques from Jesus).  For example, when Jesus is about to do a miracle, he always looks at his immediate surrounding environment to see what he can use; be it--fish and loaves from the boy, 6 waterpots for wine carried by servants, mud to cause the blind to see--Jesus makes his glory known by partnering with us, and asks us what we have in our posessions that we can give to His kingdom causes.


I decided to visit the bookstore.  Now I sort of have this mindset that since I work in the library, I don't need to buy books since I can just borrow it.  But I saw a couple of books that looked good, then that turned into 5, etc.   Okay so I ended up buying (at a good discount) a wide array of topics:
Atlas of Bible History
New Bible Dictionary
Global Mission Handbook
Unceasing Worship
Kingdom without borders
The Knowledge of the Holy / A.W.Tozer
Too Busy Not to Pray / Hybels
Jesus storybook Bible (just finished reading this one--love how each story foreshadows Jesus)

A Sweet Bitter Providence / John Piper (free book given at one of the booths)

I then decided to make my way to the prayer room which they encouraged everyone to go.  Before I went there I stopped at the prayer journey room where inside, creativity could be expressed through art, or you can just meditate (see vid clip above).  There was a global map where people could write prayers on sticky notes.  Kind of reminded me of the 60's hippy movement, sort of.   I then made my way to the prayer room where there were ministers there to pray for you.

It was a large room, and there were patches of people being prayed for, with sobs overheard.  I picked a seat in the back and sat and prayed.  I sensed the Holy Spirit in that place, so calming, so comforting, that my head bowed in prayer turned into tears of both joy and sorrow.  Joy because I was with God the Holy Spirit.  Sorrow because I felt for the people sobbing around me, who were being prayed for, and I too prayed for them, not knowing what their situation was, yet wanting to pray for them, so I did.  A prayer minister ended up sitting with me and i told her my story, about how this whole calling thing needs clarification.  She invited God the Holy Spirit to give me direction.  As I bowed, closed eyes in prayer, in my mind I was singing that classic hymn, Holy Holy Holy, imagining all the nations praising King Jesus in heaven and then inside me--I felt an exploding inward to outward, swelling feeling of praise that I never had before!  It was incredible!--like the Holy Spirit let me feel what real praise to Jesus in heaven was like--free from any hindrance!  As i opened my eyes and let the prayer minister know what I felt, she sat back in awe of God.  In hindsight, I didn't get "the calling" I expected, rather i got something else.  Perhaps my experience meant 1 of 3 things: 1) Just fix your eyes on Jesus and your path will be His will  2)  I will die soon and will see Jesus in heaven  3) God is sovereign, so whether I stay or go, God is with me no matter what I choose.
Armed with that knowledge, I decided to commit to at least short term missions (minimum 1 week I could definitely do, it made sense)   So I did that night.  However, I did it out of reason/rationale, not out of this inward compelling feeling to go anywhere (is that allowed?).  I am assuming most Urbana participants who committed to missions felt that inward calling, or confirmed their calling. 

Other notes I learned that day from different talks:

• it's about stewardship not ownership
• before you buy anything ask if it's a tool or a toy (I think I've been doing that since I still have yet no iphone)
• Live below your income (I don't spend more than I make)
• Make a commitment to a simpler lifestyle (no t.v. at home, prepaid cell)
• graduated tithe (I aim to) 

The keyboardist on the worship team was Phat!  In fact, I loved the Rahab play, and the India style worship song to Jesus.  Wonderful to see Jesus being exalted through the arts.

Unfortunately, the way they scheduled all the seminars, I couldn't attend all the ones I originally chose so I went to the ones that were available.  I ended up visiting another prayer seminar, plus spiritual warfare seminar.  Notes below:

• books to read about prayer: "31 Days of Praise", "Face to Face", "Quiet times", "First Mornigns with God"
• Why pray?
• partner with him
• to be with God
• Fasting: intentionally sacrificing something to clear space/time for God
• Caution: don't think that if I fast, then prayer will be answered/something will happen=No.  One time the speaker fasted but God rebuked her because fasting was her idea not God's. 
• Fasting is a response to God's invitation to fast
• Be in the Word Ps 119:105

 Spiritual Warfare Notes:

• i actually have the handout for this one so i didn't write any notes
• but this room was packed! 
• But I do recall the stories he told about demonic encounters.  For example, in Urbana 1990, one of the main speakers was about to talk on the uniqueness of Jesus when all of a sudden he felt this choking feeling and he couldn't speak.  One of the Urbana staff then felt God's call to pray for the speaker, so she lifted her hands in prayer when all of a sudden a 7 foot angel jumps down from the rafters asking if the woman needs help lifting her hands in prayer.  Then the main speaker was able to speak again!  This got me thinking about the need to always praise God.  Perhaps we need a praise/worship corner at tyndale or the new campus where every hour (ie: spiritual warfare through worship), a different worship team can lead in worship, whether or not people are in attendance.  It also made me think about making a youtube video on the uniqueness of Jesus.  I think Ravi Zacharias created a book on that topic.  It also made me think about the importance of lifting up your hands in praise to God.  One thing I found myself doing on the bus ride home, is that almost everytime i prayed, I would lift my hand now.  Hmm, interesting.
  
• Note to self: if you witness that happening to a guy, just read the Word/Bible!
• spiritual warfare first begins in the mind.  Don't sin lest you open a door.

Lord I've committed to at least a short-term missions trip, here I am Lord, I'm willing and available.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Day 2 - Dec 28

Day 2 - gallery (read the captions)
Worship Song - Cover the Earth 
Speaker - Ramez
Spiritual Warfare - packed room

[okay so I'm writing the rest of this blog a few days after fact (so my facts may not be in chronological order) but Urbana was so packed with activities, I would have been sleepless had I blogged daily.]

Dear Creator God,

Hallowed be Your Name LORD!  On the second day of Urbana, we began inductive study from the book of John.  It reminded me of Dr. Walters' hermeneutics class, and I was happy that the observations and questions that were being noticed were exactly what my Gospel of John class noticed too.  Loving how these young students are learning God's Word inductively for the first time.  Also, I loved how I can just randomly start a conversation with someone and I could easily relate to them, they were sincere, and I could see in their eyes Christ in them, whether young or old.  It was wonderful being with my bros and sisters in Christ.

During the afternoon, I made it my mind to visit the exhibit booths in Global Connexion.  I was going to ask each booth the same question, "how did you know you were called?".  As You know God, a couple of months ago, after viewing an A.I.M. video that Chris Ricci played, I was stirred within me to go--an inward feeling I never had before to go.  But to where?  Was this from You O God?  I dismissed it as subjective feelings due to the music.  However, during the last December chapel, when Chris Ricci played an audio clip of an Urbana06 speaker, I was moved again; the exact same feeling for several seconds--but this time no music.  So I was thinking maybe You O God might shed some light on that feeling I had, perhaps let me hear Your call at Urbana.

Each exhibitor asked me the same questions about me.  I answered that I'm a library technician from Tyndale University College & Seminary in Toronto.  I love working in the library, I think it's my calling, I could retire there if I wanted to, but at the same time I'm willing to go and am comfortable leaving that comfort/security behind me since I've been accustomed to doing that in the past (ie: leaving Catholicism, leaving computer science, risking etc).  I also asked about the whole issue of God's calling...was it an inward compelling feeling from God where you have to go OR was it pure rationale, reason, just makes sense?

I was surprised to learn that there is a high demand for librarians/library technicians in the mission field.  One representative from Worldventure, was very gracious as we talked deeply for about 30 minutes.  At the end, he wrote down my name in his personal journal and said he'd pray for me (I think he had a gut feeling I might be a missionary).  He also prayed for me right there on the spot asking God for a clear direction.  He was not the only one who prayed for me.  Another time, I was sitting with my laptop on one of the couches and someone sat beside me.  He turned out to be a missionary and we got talking deeply again which resulted in prayer for me.  His dad entered the conversation too and said there were two kinds of callings: the Acts kind where the Holy Spirit compels you to go, and the Isaiah kind where you're available/willing to go 'Here I Am'.

During the evening session, one quote that stood out to me was Hudson Taylor's quote,"God's work , done God's way never lacks God's supply."  Also there was an amazing one-woman play re-enacting the story of Rahab.  As soon as I saw that red rope, I knew.

I went to a prayer seminar at 4pm and below are the notes that I took:

• no prayer = no power
  
• little prayer = little power
• much prayer = much power
• there must be an intentional effort to pray
• busyness can hinder that
• prayer is sina qua non= essential
• prayer is more caught than taught
• praying is the best school in which to learn to pray
• Is your church feasting or fasting?  playing or praying? (ie: do social events get more people than prayer events?)
• Why pray?
• an expression of our dependence on God
• Christian resource  Matt 21:22, Phil 4:6
• Christian weapon  Eph 6:8-16
• Priority of Jesus Lk 6:12
• spiritual work needs spiritual support (if you are a Christian institution, in addition to the resume, ask them to pray as a test)
• effectiveness in ministry 2 Thes 3:1, Heb 3:17
• victory over temptation 1 Cor 9:27, 1 Tim 6:11
• grace in greater measure 2 tim 3:17
• domestic and family life 1 Tim 3:4-5
• assurance/reassurance of God's call 1 Cor 1:1
• faithful in ministry  1 Cor 4:2
• handle conflict well Gal 2:11, Ac 15:39, 2 tim 4:11
• companions in ministry Ac 19:29, Col 4:11
• Good health   1 Tim 5:23, 3 Jn 1:2
• other tips include; set up prayer diary
• read missionary prayer letters
• prayer chain
• God's answer is always yes, no, or wait/not yet.
  

Lord, You moved hearts that day and many Urbana participants confirmed their call to go to missions.  Just wondering if I was meant to go too?

in Jesus Name, Amen.

Day 1 - Dec 27

Day 1 - Picture Gallery
Hi - Arrived at hotel

Dear Father God

Thank You for Your holy grace, your gracious holiness, your merciful sovereignty, your sovereign mercy. Arriving safely at st. Louis we entered the the registration area. I noticed how organized the lineups were as they split the lines alphabetically. As I approached towards to the V-Z line, it reminded me of that scene in the Christmas story—You know the one where Ralphie stands at (what he thinks) is the end of the Santa line, only to realize the line extends beyond he can see. Well yeah that happened to me—the line extended even beyond the A-B line! So standing in line I started up a conversation with the person in front of me. Turns out she (Christie) was actually from the Graduate Institute of Applied Linguistics who will be setting up a booth in the exhibit section. One fact she mentioned was that there were yet over 2000 languages that still need a bible translation. Christie witnessed how one woman who read a translated Bible for the first time, and her facial expression was full of joy and tears—priceless. Amazing God, Your word is so precious; Your Word never returns void. How may I help spread Your Word for Your glory, and for Your people's joy?

After registering, we were waiting for the bus to our hotel. Urbana was having a little trouble with the buses (ie: they weren't making their roundtrips to/from the hotels fast enough) so they sent a bunch of mini-vans. Our driver's name was Ben, who is on the prayer team at Urbana. He mentioned how there is this one room of 70 Urbana staff who are there to pray for you—he also mentioned that if he knew that existed the first time he went to Urbana as a student, he definitely would have used it. I think I'll have to check that out.

Checking into our hotel was great. The best thing is—our hotel had a popcorn machine, with free complementary popcorn! Praise God!

At 7pm all Urbana participants gathered in Edwards Dome. One of the speakers asked us to imagine a scenario where a missionary couple wanted to demonstrate their love and reach a people who lived in a place known as 'garbage village'. Imagine all their efforts to reach them were not working—the people were afraid. Now imagine that the missionary wife (who was pregnant), decided to show their love by giving birth in 'garbage village'. What would that say to the people living there? Yet that is exactly what Jesus did who came in the flesh and dwelt among us, born in a dirty manger, because God loves us that much and wants to reach out to us. This is known as the incarnational model.

The speaker then talked about how the model that Father God uses to reach to us, is the same model we ought to use for others. As missionaries, the incarnational model means not so much that we invite people to where we live, but rather we visit them where they are at. God wants us to go in their context. The potential danger in the “business model” of missions (ie: strategic planning, projected numbers) while good, ought not be the primary means since it lacks the vulnerability, meekness and other attitudes that the incarnational model adheres to.

A short video clip was played of a man named Father Simon who worked in garbage village and tried to reach out to the kids with the Gospel but they were too afraid. So the Holy Spirit said to him, “use a torch to find your way among the darkness”--so he used a torch but the kids would still hide. Then the Holy Spirit said “kiss their hand”--so he did that, then the Holy Spirit said “put shoes on their feet” and he did that which “freaked them out.” Yet You O God Most High, have sent Your Son as a light among the darkness, to wash us away of our sins, to clean our feet, to die on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins—You “freaked us out”; May we as a body of Christ demonstrate Your love to others with a heart full of gratitude.

Then at night we were encourged to have a short bible study/reflection of Urbana. One of my roommates said that he realized his attitude toward Urbana was skeptical (due to so many people saying how great it was from years past), he realized it was pride that made him say that. Kill our pride LORD, and renew a right spirit within us, in Jesus Name Amen.